Babies are always cute?

That, depends on how you define what "cute" is. I am also talking just about the superficial kind of cuteness.

I am so fortunate to have some great friends around who share the same bluntness with me that sometimes, they'd say things like, "so and so's baby is really not that cute". Hey, that totally sounds like something DearJulie would say. I admire them for saying that and saying it out loud, because the truth is, so and so's baby is really not that cute. I just don't have the heart to say it, of course, not in front of the parents, but secretly that's what I thought.

Another reason I don't to say it out loud  is because, I want to save some good karma for when the time comes.

In math, multiplying (two) negatives makes a positive. Cases like that happen in life everywhere too. When it comes to making a baby, I do worry that's going to happen to us.

Does DearJulie so shamelessly think that both TB and her are the super positive?

HECK YEH! No no, I am kidding.

I just thought, TB and I are not super ugly, you know. Only ugly couples make cute babies (think 2 negatives make 1 positive...).

I have really seen two good-looking parents produced a not so good-looking baby. In my head, I just thought that's a shame and also was amazed how nature works. God just don't want to let you have it all, if you believe in god.

This weekend, a wise lady who claimed to have seen one too many babies in her life said to me that, babies are really not cute when they are newborn. It takes time for their facial feature to mature and the fat to fill the bone and skin structure so that they look "cute". It does make sense. Some ugly babies grow up to become adorable toddlers (with great personality and that's very important).

"Cuteness" is in the eye of the beholder. To parents, their babies are always cute. Sometimes we look for the resembles of the parents to decide if a baby is cute (because it might be a trouble if the baby does not looks like neither, I am just saying), and that's really the fun part of it - we are always amazed to see what a final product looks like.

Maybe I should not expect to see a cute baby coming out of my belly.


#iwantacutebabytoo
DearJulie


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Workout of the day:
Swimming 50 minutes
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Some minor meltdown

The other night I sat in bed rubbing my belly with Ma Ma Mio, and as I rubbed, I stared at my bare belly for a while. And as I stared, I came to some realization. My body started to tremble, I started crying.

What hit me was that I finally realized my life is not going to be the same anymore and I finally realized I am not going to be the same anymore. Emotions hit me like a hurricane, punching me in the face and twisted around my mind and my stomach. It feels like I was being choked and could not breathe at all.
This whole pregnancy thing so far has been a very out-of-body experience - it's like someone else's business and it has nothing to do with me. When walking on the street and seeing the reflection of myself on the windows, I still thought it was someone else and it took me a second to realize that was me. And I still look pretty good! Dang. j/k...

It just does not seem to be something DearJulie would ever do and now here I am. As my belly gets bigger, the reality seems to be closer to me each day - I am having a baby, a real life BABY, a human being. Having a kid was never in my plan way back then - but back then it was just me. Now I have a family of my own. I know for sure I won't be able to handle it. However when things come at you, you take care of business. That's my plan - I am going to handle it and take care of business, just like other things that happened to me that I did not plan for at all. I sometimes feel that I  am losing control over myself and my life. Luckily, things always turn out the way they should be, the good way. I guess they are right - everything is going to be ok.

After I cried, I calmed down and watched more Olympics and then fell asleep.

I will not cry again.


#meltdown
DearJulie


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Workout of the day:
Cardio Sculpt: 1 hr
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My loving husband

It might be un-feminist for me to say this, but I love it when my husband calls me MILF. <---- IT IS ACTUALLY SO WRONG THAT WIKIPEDIA HAS THE DEFINITION OF IT.

This week in What to Expect When You Are Expecting has a couple pages discussing sex during pregnancy. I was wondering what took so long to have this section because all the issues talked about in this chapter I have wondered since day one. And since I couldn't wait, even without the help of what the book tells me, I think I kindda figure things out myself, though I am not going into details of how often we have sex and what positions we use to work around the bellies (his and mine). I can tell you that I might have been the pregnant lady who's got the most action!! I also noticed my little blueberry likes orgasms a lot.

One woman in the book said that whenever she feels horny, her husband is either too tired or not into it.

That's messed up! Doesn't he know his job is to satisfy her whenever she needs especially when she is pregnant? So what's wrong with this husband? Is he not attracted to her anymore? Or maybe he jerks off too much already. That poor lady had to end up masturbating I guess.

All baby or pregnancy newsletter/emails that I subscribe to always have a section of what the partner should do that week to cope with the specific situations that might occur. Often times they talk about how important an emotional support is, especially when the pregnant ones go crazy on them. Lucky for TB, I am not crazy. Or if I am, he does not see it, or he would think it's just the normal me anyway. TB has been a very supportive partner by mocking me about my also pregnant arms, as well as refusing to take me to eat Chinese breakfast in Flushing or wherever there is on Sunday mornings. He still raises his voice at me when I forget to flush the toilet or nags at me about everything you could think of.

I still love him to death. He treats me the same regardless, knowing that I hate to be reminded I am pregnant. He would take me out eating sushi, share his glass of wine or beer with me, and give me a taste of things I shouldn't be eating just so that I don't feel left out.

Yes, I want to feel normal.

Deep down we both know even though there is a baby on the way, he and I are still the most important people to each other. Baby should feel lucky even to get our attention (which he will for the first god knows how many years). I have seen one too many marriages fail because of the new family members being in the picture and I know it won't happen to us. See, I learn from other people's hard earned lessons.

We have talked about scenarios like, if anything happened during labor and delivery, who would he want to save? He gives the best answer by saying he will save me because we can always make more babies, but I am the one and only he has. My husband is trained very well by moi.

Don't feel bad for our baby - he is going to grow up having plenty of love from his parents. However, we are also building a healthy loving environment for him by loving each other a lot and more.

Like I have always said, I only have this baby because I love TB, so it's pretty obvious what my priority is. Whenver I look at myself and feel disgusted, I'd remind myself that it's going to be a mini-TB. In any way, he is really the biggest support I have.




#Ilovebeingamilf
DearJulie


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Workout of the day
Cycling: 45 minutes
Seated cable row: 3x10
Lat pulldown: 3x12
Lat extension: 3x15
Cable curl: 3x10
Pilates machine: 1 hr
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Some random things about pregnant women

There are a lot of adjustments in life when pregnant. Some of them are very obvious; some of them are just ridiculous. The ridiculous ones are the ones killing me or puzzling me, meaning that I really didn't see it coming like this.

I'd like to share with you some very random things that pregnant women endure. Or, maybe not every pregnant woman, and it could be just me. So I'll just speak for myself...

• When showering, I like to, like most people, clean every inch of my skin. Recently I have noticed that the every inch of my skin has grown more so I go through soaps more quickly than before. And I started making efforts to wash under the folds - underneath the enlarged boobs and belly.
• The uterus is growing and compressing other internal organs, thus resulting in the reorganization of the nearby organs. My little blueberry is a good boy that he is pressing the right place so I could still easily go to the bathroom and cleanse every morning (according to pregnancy literature, most women have constipation issue, luckily, I am not one of them).
• Pregnant bellies come in different shapes depending on looking at it from different angles. For me, when I look down, my belly looks "square" than round (I know it's hard to imagine but it's true).
• Farting is out of control so I decided not to control it.
• People do treat you differently when pregnant but I hate it. I found myself say to people I am fat, instead pregnant so that I don't get special treatments.
• Sleeping quality goes down when pregnant. The frequent urination in the middle of the night never stops. Dreams always have different episodes thus the brain activities go crazy and they are effing up my sleep as well. 
• BO is harder to get rid of. I started using either heavy duty deodorant or TB's deodorant (well, not his, but the brand that he uses).
• Hair and nail grow fast. My monthly budget for mani/pedi has increased a lot. For hair, I kindda want to wait until last minute to have it cut. But I am happy that my hair is not dry anymore and it has no split ends at all, thanks for pregnancy.
• My sense of smell did not become sensitive. I sometimes just don't smell things. However, I still love the smell of stinky tofu and miss eating it.
• Wearing heels prevents (me) from walking wobbly. Hey more reason to wear heels.
• Being pregnant really makes me have a better appreciation of my mom. This is some goddamn hard work.
• Pregnant women are very forgetful. If I don't write things down, I could easily forget what I need to do next, or something I was just reminded like 5 minutes ago. TB thinks I am making this up since I am naturally a forgetful person anyway. But I am not making it up - pregnancy makes it worse.

I'll share more once I notice more of the changes to my body and my life. Some people might read what I write and cringe. Don't be scared. It will be your turn soon.


#pregnantwomenarestrange
DearJulie


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Workout of the day:
Cycling 45 minuts
Pilates 1 hour
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Arizona makes me mad, very mad

I thought Arizona was a fun place to visit. Now I am totally changing my mind. Read this article and you will understand why I am mad.

 "We get dealt all kinds of different challenges in life and when those unfortunate things happen, you love them and you take care of them and you educate them, " Arizona State Governor Janice Brewer said, "It’s as simple as that."

Fuck that! It's not simple at all.

In the mean time, it does not look like Arizona has a sufficient special care program to provide assistance in education and health care for kids born with challenges. So, how is that fair to those families who are forced into a situation like this?

I am especially mad because this is exactly the kind of law that pushed women's right movement 20 years backwards, and that a woman in power signed into a law to jeopardize other women's right. The fundamental issue is still the right to choose. If a woman does not want to or can not afford to raise a baby with abnormalities, then they deserve to make that choice themselves. And bear in mind that a lot of those decisions are not made only by the women, the decisions are often time made by the them and their families together. Now, that became human right and civil right issue.

Sometimes babies detected with certain abnormalities as a fetus could not even survive the whole pregnancy or they could not survive after born. That kind of pain to the women and the families can be million times worse, let alone the physical and emotional trauma women have to go through.

Families with lower social status and lower income are those who do not have enough preventative health care and access to tests that detect early fetus' problematic development. Which means they are more likely to give birth to unhealthy babies or babies who need more care and attention. Again, with lower income and social resources, you would think that the government would take over the responsibilities?! Yes, by raising tax on all tax payers. This is not fair because government is the one who created the issue in the first place and now it makes it everyone's burden?

I would not ever want to be a burden to the society. But an abortion law like that gives some people no choice. Again, it's the choice that matters in a democratic society.

Argh, I just can't imagine the right to my own body is being legalized and restricted by law of such and I feel more women in Arizona and all other states who are enforcing such stupid law.

I am so mad that the little blueberry feels it too - he is making a fuzz right now.


#fuckyouarizona
DearJulie


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Workout of the day
Cardio cycling: 45 minutes
(superset)
Should press: 3x10
Dumbbell curl: 3x10
Dumbbell raise: 3x10
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Weight control: diet

Eating is another part of weight control, and a very important part. I personally experienced a hard workout regimen with a strict portion control diet that has a major protein focus and it helped me lose the unnecessary fat and gained muscle at the right place. The big muscle groups naturally burn more calories for you and that's what I train. I didn't lost an extreme amount of weight but I was fit and tone and in my best shape ever.

I am a healthy eater. It started out as an conscious choice and it has become a lifestyle that I stick to. With this pregnancy, I don't have any craving for any bizarre sounding food combination like, chocolate with mustard, peanut butter and pickle, chili sauce with candy bar, ketchup with lemon, or spam with vinegar. People always say, just listen to your body because your body would tell you what it needs to make up for certain things lacking in your body, thus the craving.

Fruits

If anything, I noticed that I eat much more fruit than before - I used to be able to down a pint of blueberries a day, now I can do 2 pints, plus another pint of grape tomatoes. Because I noticed the change, I started adding the fruit varieties in my fridge. I eat all kinds of fruit. I even once over indulged in papaya, watermelon and mango, and got yelled at by my mom because they turned out to be fruits I was not supposed to eat during early pregnancy, partly because of superstition. Still, I find that all fruits are satisfying for my stomach and as long as I don't eat too much of anything at once, it's good. Right?

Vegetables

I trust that my green juice has enough veggies in one cup. Thus, I never have to worry about not eating enough veggies. However, whenever I have options, I always opt to eating salads, steam veggies, or anything that has some type of vegetable in it. Though I am very careful with salads because it's not cooked and I am lazy about making sure they are washed fully.

Protein

Tofu is my go-to protein, even though tofu might have been the cause of my over-raging hormones that constantly give me headache. However, I can't get enough of tofu. TB is a believer in red meat, so he would insist that I eat beef once a week. Other than that, I still do eat egg whites, cheese (pasteurized), chicken, and fish (hm...sushi) on a regular basis. I am not picky.

Carbs

Carbs' my downfall - I happen to live close to one of the best bagel shops in town, I have a freshly baked bagel every morning. Sometimes when I feel like rice or noodles, I will have rice or noodles, for lunch. But that's it. I make sure my high carbs in-take is early in the day and have time to work it off during the day.

Other than the major food groups, I eat almost everything that I can eat, including sushi, especially uni. My beverage options still have green tea and coffee which I select carefully (you know, that friggin Organic Swiss Press). Sometimes, I grab TB's wine glass or beer bottle just to have a sip of it, you know, to feel normal, but I certainly do not miss wine or alcohol. One thing I miss dearly is charcuteries, ah.

If I don't know, I Google. There is also this guideline that I go to if I am confused about certain things to eat or not. One thing I bear in mind is to have a balanced everything. By doing this, I am hoping the weight gain can be paced. I don't want to look like a balloon.

So what's your diet like? I'd love to learn a trick or two from all of you.

#ilovesushi
DearJulie


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rest day
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Weight control: exercise

Weight-gain has been my whole life struggle. Just as I finally got a groove of weight control and I felt the best about myself physically, this pregnancy came. Now with this pregnancy, I feel that my nightmare about gaining unreasonable weight is replaying all over again.

Of course you'd say this is something I can't control. However that's exactly the feeling I hate - not being able to control, especially after the last doctor's visit with a solid 7-lbs gain, I was freaking out. As I am 17 weeks into the pregnancy, I am very not looking forward to the next weigh-in.

Every one's body is different so there is really no exact number of how much weight to put on with pregnancy. The general guideline says 25-35lbs is a normal weight gain, and 300 more calories a day is what's sufficient for a pregnancy diet. Knowing myself, I know that won't be how my body reacts to pregnancy - I might eat more and gain more. Therefore, an extreme measure needs to be taken.

I am carrying on with my regular workout regimen with a lot more cardiovascular emphasis. With weight training, I cut down the weight that I would normally do. The only thing I quit doing is to push my limit. Instead, I listen more to my body and when it calls it stop, I stop. Unfortunately the result of it is that sometimes I don't have a very satisfying workout, you know, I kindda crave for the high intensity and maximum heart rate type of feeling.

My kid likes it when I work out. How do I know? I don't. But when I want him to like it, he has to like it.

Some people are into yoga but I really suck at yoga. I read so much about the benefits yoga can bring to the pregnancy and delivery and wanted to get into it. But I just can't. I am more of a kickboxing type of person than yoga. Yoga does not relax me - I can't close my eyes as the instructor asks. I always have to open one eye to peek what the next move is.

Working out in the gym is awesome especially if you go to a club like mine, and especially when it's hot like this in the summer. And because of the weather, I cut down so much running (outside). Or I'd only run early in the morning before the heat comes. But running has been hard with the extra weight on me. I don't feel light and I don't feel fast. My heart rate rises fast and stays high and sometimes I even feel the feeling of having a stroke that my brain is about to explode.

Sounds bad. And I always wonder how some women run marathons when pregnant? Total respect! 

I believe the body can be trained. I just have to keep up even with a belly getting bigger and bigger each day. As long as I carry on with a routine, it will only get easier. Right?

I am adding swimming to the routine and when the weather gets cooler, we are going to play tennis. I am hoping by keeping up with the exercise, I won't be sitting on my fat ass feeling miserable about weight gain.

Do you work out/exercise regularly when pregnant? What do you do? Share please! I always like learning new tricks.


#pregnancyworkout
DearJulie



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Workout of the day: light
Cycling 30 minutes
Tons of stretch
Passive workout: massage 20 minutes
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