Unfit mother

I am an unfit mother "oh shock face"!

I slept through blueberry's cries a couple times at night and didn't even know how long he has been crying until I finally woke up to check him. That might also be the reason why I thought he sleeps longer than he actually does. So he sometimes starves at night because of me.

I went to get a pedicure/manicure and came home to a wailing baby. He was starving because the walking milk factory went missing. He starves because of me.

Seriously! What kind of mother am I who even dares not to hover around her baby 24/7 just to make sure he is being carefully taken care of?!

My own mother seems to think that I am unfit to be a mom. She scolded me for that and I was so pissed, well at myself, of course. I felt so bad and so guilty.

Oh yes, it's like I committed some kind of crime.

TB made me feel better by saying that blueberry is a boy and needs to be toughened up a bit. Maybe? But he is after all a newborn. A good mother should really be around each step of the way to watch him and to accompany him.

Sigh....


DearJulie