Blueberry's Birthday Part I

*I feel the need to write this blog entry for my own purpose - I want to forever remember this day. It's only my personal experience and opinion.

It has been a crazy nine months of pregnancy. Well, "crazy", I guess in a good way. I hated being pregnant and I don't think I will ever change my mind about it. However, when I finally reached the finish line and lay eyes on my little blueberry, my heart melt. Tears filled my eyes and I couldn't believe a little person really came out of me.

They said it is the most amazing experience in life. I agree.

As you all know that I call my kid "blueberry" throughout the nine months, but you might not know why blueberry. TB thinks that my fobby accent sounds funny when I pronounce blueberry, and it kindda just stuck and I started calling the baby in my belly, blueberry. Next time you see me, ask me to say "blueberry" and you'd know.

As I use this blog to document the experience, I definitely will not skip the very last part. So here.

Late arrival

Blueberry was late. I was very much annoyed as well as worried. I was too big to carry my own body which made me even more resentful; I was worried that he is getting too big and I wouldn't be able to push him out. However, with a birth plan, I still tried telling myself I should be prepared for anything that could happen at that moment. My priority is to make sure my blueberry is healthy.

Original due date was Saturday, 12/29. I started getting all the messages and calls from friends and family who care so much about us, asking if the baby has arrived yet. Even the nail salon lady asked me about it. All the attention made me actually feel embarrassed to even be pregnant passed New Year. This kid is really a Lam boy, doing things with his own pace.

After a couple non-stress tests, I went in to my yet another doctor's appointment. My doctor was making fun of how I am still hanging around. I was about 4 cm dilated by Thursday, 1/3, checked at the doctor's office. We made a plan of getting induced on Saturday, 1/5. Doctor said "call me that morning at 8:30am. I'll let you know if it's busy or not to come in". Apparently a lot of people schedule c-sections or inductions.

I was mentally preparing myself for an induction and I started looking up Pitoxin. I didn't like that idea. It seems like the contractions come more intensely and the pain level is higher and all. Anyways. I wouldn't know.

L&D

On Thursday, 1/3, the same day of the very last doctor's appointment everything was fine until around 10pm. I started having funny feelings in the belly. It's like menstrual cramps that I used to have when I was in high school. Doctor always said that when it's a real thing I'd know. But at this point, I still wasn't sure. After discussing with TB, we decided regardless what it was, we should go to sleep to reserve the energy.

I was able to fall asleep and not wake in the middle of night so I thought, eh, it's nothing. By 4:30am, the cramps started having patterns and I felt alert. I pulled out my smartphone that has a contractions tracker app that I downloaded previously and started timing. By the way, this is a great app for any pregnant ladies who will need one.

We got up, showered, ate, packed up, and out the door by 6am. Hm why did it sound like we take a long time to get ready in a moment like this? I guess we did huh. TB was a little freaking out as I can see that he was running around but not being able to get things done. I told him to calm down. He said, yeah, please keep reminding me to calm down. The truth is, I was a little happy that this day finally came and I got nothing to freak out about.

We got to the hospital in 3 minutes - the advantage of living so close to my hospital and I guess that's another reason why we were ok to take out time. Contractions have been hitting with great patterns. Once we got to the L&D floor, it was pretty busy because we had to wait to get checked in. They wanted us to wait at the waiting lounge but I wasn't able to walk back there, so I was just panting (kindda) at the reception desk. 

The couple before us frigging took forever to answer all the questions from the nurse. They even had some serious discussion. I purposely asked aloud "what the heck is taking so long?" It sounded like they scheduled an induction and that lady was not fucking in pain at all. Anyways. We finally got admitted and went into the triage for checkup and monitoring. Contractions were still manageable especially now I was lying down.

They finally checked me and suggested that I should take a walk to fasten the labor since I was only still 4cm dilated. The PA suggested that we walk around in the hospital to help the labor process but knowing that we live close by, she suggested that we go home. I think they just didn't want us to occupy the delivery room, which I understand.

I did walk. I walked to the ultra sound department to cancel my non-stress test appointment since, I really didn't need it anymore, and I needed to walk. There was a preggo lady walking pass me and went to the elevator. She fucking saw me but when I finally got to the elevator in the state of contractions, she shut the door. So I yelled "THANKS FOR NOT WAITING". Granted I knew I'd see her fucking ugly Indian fart face in the ultra sound. She looked terrified when she saw me. She probably thought I would go over to punch her face, which I thought about doing.

We went home after that and went to sleep - we were already sleep deprived and we just wanted to save upenergy for whatever is coming our way. It took me a while to fall asleep because the contractions are hitting more intensely now. When we woke up again, it was about 1pm.  I tried walking up and down the stairs and back and forth in the living room several times and had to sit down. We decided to have something light to eat and head back to the hospital.

Once we got to the hospital, it was so obvious that I am a woman in labor, people stopped to ask if I was ok and offered to get a wheel chair. Well, I was able to walk so I walked, but I needed to stop and grabbed on to TB's hands when contractions hit.

We got to the L&D floor just in time for the "baby rush".  A line at check-in and a line to wait for the triage. They asked me to wait at the visitors lounge. Seriously? Like, in the lobby? Well, I guess everything at this point is worth the wait especially my son was already 6 days late.

I tried walking back and forth more; I asked TB to get food for himself; and I waited more. At this point, the contractions were somewhat bearable but I had to pant through them each time. But still, not to the point I'd need to moan or even scream. One hour and 45 minutes later, we finally got the triage room. The first question asked was if I wanted epidural. Before the PA even finished the question, I said yes, hit me up with however much epidural you could. Apparently, if you said no at this point, they would send you home again. Dude, I am in serious labor and I ain't leaving the hospital until I get this baby out of me.

From the moment I asked for epidural and they said we will do it right away. They hooked me on IV right away alright. But, I didn't get to the delivery room and epidural until two more hrs later. During this time, the contractions started becoming no joke. I was so looking forward to epidural. When I actually got the epidural, it was another hr later. The process was kindda intense because I was so worried that the administration of epidural would fail and that my body anatomy works differently that epidural wouldn't work for me as I have heard of some horror stories before. However everything went well. Epidural started kicking in about 5 minutes I got it and I didn't feel the pain of contractions but only the pressure from inside of my belly. Praise the lord.

Not sure if I was too drugged up but I did remember saying to TB that epidural is so amazing that I can easily have more babies. Oh my! That did not sound like me but I know I said it.

After epidural, I fell asleep. Not sure how long of time passed but at this point, it's all about waiting. Doctor came in and said that it looks like we are having a baby some time close to midnight. We were excited. We even got to watch Miami Heat playing against whichever team to kill time.

Doctor broke my water at 7pm. By midnight, I was about 8-9cm dilated. Doctor said she will come back in about a couple hrs and we for sure will have a baby. This time it's for real.

It's pass midnight and it's the morning of 1/5. The staff came in again at 3:30ish am. Unlike all the baby story shows on TLC, where they always have several nurses, doctor, residence, family members, doula alike of people in the delivery room. In my delivery room, there was one nurse and one doctor, TB and I and I like it simple and quiet. How easy was it! The nurse and doctor coached me through the pushing process and it was essentially the same thing taught at the childbirth class, which I have been practicing with TB at home several time. I feel that I am very ready.

I started pushing as doctor said she already saw baby's head. When it was time to push, I really gather all my energy to push as each time contraction hit. I am glad all the years of training, workout and all paid off. It was not too hard for me. Though, the holding the breath part was not the easiest because even though I am a good swimmer, I don't hold breath for too long.

When the baby crowned, the doctor asked if I would like to feel baby's hair. I said no. Now I think about it, I kindda regreted saying no. I mean, that's a once in a life time experience by itself you know.

The pushing process literally lasted for 20 minutes (*TB corrected that he remembered I pushed for about 15 minutes or so but I didn't think it was quite realistic. He said "you only pushed 4 times remember?"). I don't have anything to compare to but doctor did make a remark of how we didn't have to do this for an hour. Is it normal to do that for an hour? I am not sure if I like that idea.

I could feel it when the head came out, and then the shoulders, body and the rest just came gushing out. The doctor pulled the baby out of me and showed it right in front of my eye. At the moment, I was so happy that I felt tears on my face - I knew I'd be this emotional. TB was all joy that he was kindda not knowing what to do. Doctor said this is when you get your camera out. He had to struggle to find it. It was so cute to look at. He followed the Pediatrician to clean the baby. I heard the loud cry and baby is health. TB took some photos and they were precisou - our very first family portraits. I'd like to share with you in a separate photo album later to come.

The only thing was that I had a minor fever during L&D so for a precautionary purpose, I was on anti-biotic and they suggested that baby should be on anti-biotic. I let the professional do the decision as long as it's for the baby.

My baby has all 10 fingers and 10 toes and he is healthy. He was born on January, 5th, 2013 at 3:58am, weighing in 8 lbs and 20 inches. We name him Miles Chien-You (乾祐) Lam. I call him Yo-Yo (祐祐) as a pet name, like Yo-Yo Ma, you know, but of course different characters in Chinese

The kind of amazingness is truly more than words to describe and yes, you have to experience for yourself to know. I was a non-believer and now, I believe. Now I think about all the moments on that very day, I still have tears in my eyes. Every detail is going to be so vivid for the rest of my life.

I am not ashamed to say that I was almost too resentful throughout the pregnancy because I am a selfish person, I care only myself and I think it's perfectly awesome. My life was awesome, my husband is awesome. I didn't see a point to change any of that. And then baby came along. I wrote down all my thoughts during the 9 months. Crazy or not, I know for sure I offended people a lot but I do not really care - you must be very insecure to even feel offended by anything I say, so it's your problem, not mine.

My L&D was only my own experience and since I can not compare it to anyone else's or anything even remotely close to it, please don't expect the same things that will happen to you. You will definitely have a different experience than mine especially when it comes to medical related procedures. And when you do, I am sure it is going to be a-ma-zing!!!


DearJulie