The best present ever

They often time say, "my baby is the best Christmas present that God send me", referring to her baby born on and around Christmas time; "my baby is the best Mother's Day gift anyone could ask for", referring to, well, duh, her baby as a Mother's Day gift. Or anniversary gift, birthday gift, or even any holiday that is made up can be an excuse to say "my baby is the best gift ever".

You know what I am talking about? Like all lovey dovey about having a baby, the only most precious thing in the whole world that could bring her the joy?

I have been waiting for almost a month to build up the emotion and see if it will eventually hit me.

Today is the deadline. Today is my birthday.

And holy sh*t. I do not feel that blueberry is the best birthday present ever. Though I do feel kindda lovey dovey. I am also still waiting for my birthday gifts, other birthday gifts.

This does not mean I don't love him whole heartedly, because I do.

Although he is everything money can't buy, this baby is work, is responsibility, is one of the biggest challenges in my life.  He cries, whines and is annoying sometimes. He takes up all the time I have and consumes all the energy out of me. On the other hand, he makes me a much more patient person than ever before...ah, I can't believe how patient I am (with him) nowadays.

Oh those changes.....I have (slowly) become one of those ladies even though I consciously warn myself not to be, but it's hard. When you see others and their babies, the competitive nature in me is always bringing out the worst of me. Which could justify why I would even consider spending money on a baby seersucker suit, knowing that he is probably only going to wear it once and he probably wouldn't appreciate it as much as I do.

So yeah, I am 35 today. I feel effing awesome. I have the world's most wonderful husband who does not really care about celebrating birthdays; I have the world's cutest son who complained about my boobs this morning and went with his own hand. You must say: what else would you ask for?!

Perhaps not.

Things can't always be perfect. Life is wonderful when knowing how to look at things from different perspectives. So yeah, with all things considered, I am damn happy at this moment. Especially my son is taking a good morning nap.

One thing I will do differently today: I will do whatever I want, whenever I want, even if my son is whining. He does not get to decide what he wants and when he wants it, but I do. For example, if I need to poop and he is hungry and crying, I will poop first before I get to him.


DearJulie