My loving husband

It might be un-feminist for me to say this, but I love it when my husband calls me MILF. <---- IT IS ACTUALLY SO WRONG THAT WIKIPEDIA HAS THE DEFINITION OF IT.

This week in What to Expect When You Are Expecting has a couple pages discussing sex during pregnancy. I was wondering what took so long to have this section because all the issues talked about in this chapter I have wondered since day one. And since I couldn't wait, even without the help of what the book tells me, I think I kindda figure things out myself, though I am not going into details of how often we have sex and what positions we use to work around the bellies (his and mine). I can tell you that I might have been the pregnant lady who's got the most action!! I also noticed my little blueberry likes orgasms a lot.

One woman in the book said that whenever she feels horny, her husband is either too tired or not into it.

That's messed up! Doesn't he know his job is to satisfy her whenever she needs especially when she is pregnant? So what's wrong with this husband? Is he not attracted to her anymore? Or maybe he jerks off too much already. That poor lady had to end up masturbating I guess.

All baby or pregnancy newsletter/emails that I subscribe to always have a section of what the partner should do that week to cope with the specific situations that might occur. Often times they talk about how important an emotional support is, especially when the pregnant ones go crazy on them. Lucky for TB, I am not crazy. Or if I am, he does not see it, or he would think it's just the normal me anyway. TB has been a very supportive partner by mocking me about my also pregnant arms, as well as refusing to take me to eat Chinese breakfast in Flushing or wherever there is on Sunday mornings. He still raises his voice at me when I forget to flush the toilet or nags at me about everything you could think of.

I still love him to death. He treats me the same regardless, knowing that I hate to be reminded I am pregnant. He would take me out eating sushi, share his glass of wine or beer with me, and give me a taste of things I shouldn't be eating just so that I don't feel left out.

Yes, I want to feel normal.

Deep down we both know even though there is a baby on the way, he and I are still the most important people to each other. Baby should feel lucky even to get our attention (which he will for the first god knows how many years). I have seen one too many marriages fail because of the new family members being in the picture and I know it won't happen to us. See, I learn from other people's hard earned lessons.

We have talked about scenarios like, if anything happened during labor and delivery, who would he want to save? He gives the best answer by saying he will save me because we can always make more babies, but I am the one and only he has. My husband is trained very well by moi.

Don't feel bad for our baby - he is going to grow up having plenty of love from his parents. However, we are also building a healthy loving environment for him by loving each other a lot and more.

Like I have always said, I only have this baby because I love TB, so it's pretty obvious what my priority is. Whenver I look at myself and feel disgusted, I'd remind myself that it's going to be a mini-TB. In any way, he is really the biggest support I have.




#Ilovebeingamilf
DearJulie


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Workout of the day
Cycling: 45 minutes
Seated cable row: 3x10
Lat pulldown: 3x12
Lat extension: 3x15
Cable curl: 3x10
Pilates machine: 1 hr
---

Some random things about pregnant women

There are a lot of adjustments in life when pregnant. Some of them are very obvious; some of them are just ridiculous. The ridiculous ones are the ones killing me or puzzling me, meaning that I really didn't see it coming like this.

I'd like to share with you some very random things that pregnant women endure. Or, maybe not every pregnant woman, and it could be just me. So I'll just speak for myself...

• When showering, I like to, like most people, clean every inch of my skin. Recently I have noticed that the every inch of my skin has grown more so I go through soaps more quickly than before. And I started making efforts to wash under the folds - underneath the enlarged boobs and belly.
• The uterus is growing and compressing other internal organs, thus resulting in the reorganization of the nearby organs. My little blueberry is a good boy that he is pressing the right place so I could still easily go to the bathroom and cleanse every morning (according to pregnancy literature, most women have constipation issue, luckily, I am not one of them).
• Pregnant bellies come in different shapes depending on looking at it from different angles. For me, when I look down, my belly looks "square" than round (I know it's hard to imagine but it's true).
• Farting is out of control so I decided not to control it.
• People do treat you differently when pregnant but I hate it. I found myself say to people I am fat, instead pregnant so that I don't get special treatments.
• Sleeping quality goes down when pregnant. The frequent urination in the middle of the night never stops. Dreams always have different episodes thus the brain activities go crazy and they are effing up my sleep as well. 
• BO is harder to get rid of. I started using either heavy duty deodorant or TB's deodorant (well, not his, but the brand that he uses).
• Hair and nail grow fast. My monthly budget for mani/pedi has increased a lot. For hair, I kindda want to wait until last minute to have it cut. But I am happy that my hair is not dry anymore and it has no split ends at all, thanks for pregnancy.
• My sense of smell did not become sensitive. I sometimes just don't smell things. However, I still love the smell of stinky tofu and miss eating it.
• Wearing heels prevents (me) from walking wobbly. Hey more reason to wear heels.
• Being pregnant really makes me have a better appreciation of my mom. This is some goddamn hard work.
• Pregnant women are very forgetful. If I don't write things down, I could easily forget what I need to do next, or something I was just reminded like 5 minutes ago. TB thinks I am making this up since I am naturally a forgetful person anyway. But I am not making it up - pregnancy makes it worse.

I'll share more once I notice more of the changes to my body and my life. Some people might read what I write and cringe. Don't be scared. It will be your turn soon.


#pregnantwomenarestrange
DearJulie


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Workout of the day:
Cycling 45 minuts
Pilates 1 hour
---

Arizona makes me mad, very mad

I thought Arizona was a fun place to visit. Now I am totally changing my mind. Read this article and you will understand why I am mad.

 "We get dealt all kinds of different challenges in life and when those unfortunate things happen, you love them and you take care of them and you educate them, " Arizona State Governor Janice Brewer said, "It’s as simple as that."

Fuck that! It's not simple at all.

In the mean time, it does not look like Arizona has a sufficient special care program to provide assistance in education and health care for kids born with challenges. So, how is that fair to those families who are forced into a situation like this?

I am especially mad because this is exactly the kind of law that pushed women's right movement 20 years backwards, and that a woman in power signed into a law to jeopardize other women's right. The fundamental issue is still the right to choose. If a woman does not want to or can not afford to raise a baby with abnormalities, then they deserve to make that choice themselves. And bear in mind that a lot of those decisions are not made only by the women, the decisions are often time made by the them and their families together. Now, that became human right and civil right issue.

Sometimes babies detected with certain abnormalities as a fetus could not even survive the whole pregnancy or they could not survive after born. That kind of pain to the women and the families can be million times worse, let alone the physical and emotional trauma women have to go through.

Families with lower social status and lower income are those who do not have enough preventative health care and access to tests that detect early fetus' problematic development. Which means they are more likely to give birth to unhealthy babies or babies who need more care and attention. Again, with lower income and social resources, you would think that the government would take over the responsibilities?! Yes, by raising tax on all tax payers. This is not fair because government is the one who created the issue in the first place and now it makes it everyone's burden?

I would not ever want to be a burden to the society. But an abortion law like that gives some people no choice. Again, it's the choice that matters in a democratic society.

Argh, I just can't imagine the right to my own body is being legalized and restricted by law of such and I feel more women in Arizona and all other states who are enforcing such stupid law.

I am so mad that the little blueberry feels it too - he is making a fuzz right now.


#fuckyouarizona
DearJulie


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Workout of the day
Cardio cycling: 45 minutes
(superset)
Should press: 3x10
Dumbbell curl: 3x10
Dumbbell raise: 3x10
---

Weight control: diet

Eating is another part of weight control, and a very important part. I personally experienced a hard workout regimen with a strict portion control diet that has a major protein focus and it helped me lose the unnecessary fat and gained muscle at the right place. The big muscle groups naturally burn more calories for you and that's what I train. I didn't lost an extreme amount of weight but I was fit and tone and in my best shape ever.

I am a healthy eater. It started out as an conscious choice and it has become a lifestyle that I stick to. With this pregnancy, I don't have any craving for any bizarre sounding food combination like, chocolate with mustard, peanut butter and pickle, chili sauce with candy bar, ketchup with lemon, or spam with vinegar. People always say, just listen to your body because your body would tell you what it needs to make up for certain things lacking in your body, thus the craving.

Fruits

If anything, I noticed that I eat much more fruit than before - I used to be able to down a pint of blueberries a day, now I can do 2 pints, plus another pint of grape tomatoes. Because I noticed the change, I started adding the fruit varieties in my fridge. I eat all kinds of fruit. I even once over indulged in papaya, watermelon and mango, and got yelled at by my mom because they turned out to be fruits I was not supposed to eat during early pregnancy, partly because of superstition. Still, I find that all fruits are satisfying for my stomach and as long as I don't eat too much of anything at once, it's good. Right?

Vegetables

I trust that my green juice has enough veggies in one cup. Thus, I never have to worry about not eating enough veggies. However, whenever I have options, I always opt to eating salads, steam veggies, or anything that has some type of vegetable in it. Though I am very careful with salads because it's not cooked and I am lazy about making sure they are washed fully.

Protein

Tofu is my go-to protein, even though tofu might have been the cause of my over-raging hormones that constantly give me headache. However, I can't get enough of tofu. TB is a believer in red meat, so he would insist that I eat beef once a week. Other than that, I still do eat egg whites, cheese (pasteurized), chicken, and fish (hm...sushi) on a regular basis. I am not picky.

Carbs

Carbs' my downfall - I happen to live close to one of the best bagel shops in town, I have a freshly baked bagel every morning. Sometimes when I feel like rice or noodles, I will have rice or noodles, for lunch. But that's it. I make sure my high carbs in-take is early in the day and have time to work it off during the day.

Other than the major food groups, I eat almost everything that I can eat, including sushi, especially uni. My beverage options still have green tea and coffee which I select carefully (you know, that friggin Organic Swiss Press). Sometimes, I grab TB's wine glass or beer bottle just to have a sip of it, you know, to feel normal, but I certainly do not miss wine or alcohol. One thing I miss dearly is charcuteries, ah.

If I don't know, I Google. There is also this guideline that I go to if I am confused about certain things to eat or not. One thing I bear in mind is to have a balanced everything. By doing this, I am hoping the weight gain can be paced. I don't want to look like a balloon.

So what's your diet like? I'd love to learn a trick or two from all of you.

#ilovesushi
DearJulie


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rest day
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Weight control: exercise

Weight-gain has been my whole life struggle. Just as I finally got a groove of weight control and I felt the best about myself physically, this pregnancy came. Now with this pregnancy, I feel that my nightmare about gaining unreasonable weight is replaying all over again.

Of course you'd say this is something I can't control. However that's exactly the feeling I hate - not being able to control, especially after the last doctor's visit with a solid 7-lbs gain, I was freaking out. As I am 17 weeks into the pregnancy, I am very not looking forward to the next weigh-in.

Every one's body is different so there is really no exact number of how much weight to put on with pregnancy. The general guideline says 25-35lbs is a normal weight gain, and 300 more calories a day is what's sufficient for a pregnancy diet. Knowing myself, I know that won't be how my body reacts to pregnancy - I might eat more and gain more. Therefore, an extreme measure needs to be taken.

I am carrying on with my regular workout regimen with a lot more cardiovascular emphasis. With weight training, I cut down the weight that I would normally do. The only thing I quit doing is to push my limit. Instead, I listen more to my body and when it calls it stop, I stop. Unfortunately the result of it is that sometimes I don't have a very satisfying workout, you know, I kindda crave for the high intensity and maximum heart rate type of feeling.

My kid likes it when I work out. How do I know? I don't. But when I want him to like it, he has to like it.

Some people are into yoga but I really suck at yoga. I read so much about the benefits yoga can bring to the pregnancy and delivery and wanted to get into it. But I just can't. I am more of a kickboxing type of person than yoga. Yoga does not relax me - I can't close my eyes as the instructor asks. I always have to open one eye to peek what the next move is.

Working out in the gym is awesome especially if you go to a club like mine, and especially when it's hot like this in the summer. And because of the weather, I cut down so much running (outside). Or I'd only run early in the morning before the heat comes. But running has been hard with the extra weight on me. I don't feel light and I don't feel fast. My heart rate rises fast and stays high and sometimes I even feel the feeling of having a stroke that my brain is about to explode.

Sounds bad. And I always wonder how some women run marathons when pregnant? Total respect! 

I believe the body can be trained. I just have to keep up even with a belly getting bigger and bigger each day. As long as I carry on with a routine, it will only get easier. Right?

I am adding swimming to the routine and when the weather gets cooler, we are going to play tennis. I am hoping by keeping up with the exercise, I won't be sitting on my fat ass feeling miserable about weight gain.

Do you work out/exercise regularly when pregnant? What do you do? Share please! I always like learning new tricks.


#pregnancyworkout
DearJulie



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Workout of the day: light
Cycling 30 minutes
Tons of stretch
Passive workout: massage 20 minutes
---

My little feminist has a penis

I am going to be raising a feminist who has a penis. He is going to be a pro-choice social justice advocate who believes in women's right to choose and respects women as equal. Above all, he will listen to his mommy.

Dragon year does not mean anything to me - it only sounds good to our Chinese parents. I am biased toward to the Horse year. If anything, I will have to be even more Tiger Mom to tame this Dragon Boy. By the way, the Chinese Birth Calendar is wrong, wayyy wrong. My suspicion was wrong, wayyy wrong as well. I thought I started out with such a difficult pregnancy and it would be a girl, a diva, who is going to be high-maintenance. It turned out, it's a difficult boy, just like his daddy. How's that for "Like father, like son!".

I want my little feminist grow up to be happy, open-minded, and ready for all kinds of challenges in life with wisdom and strength. He will have the courage to face and concur fears. He will have the strong mind to make the right decisions. He will have the biggest heart for humanity and contribute to the world in any way he can. He will be humble to learn everything the world can offer and turn knowledge into strength of his own. Most importantly, he will have the health and energy to reach the wealth and goals in life.

#babylamhasapenis
DearJulie


---
Workout of the day:
Cycling 45 minutes
Lat pulldown: 3x10
Seated cable row: 3x12
Cable bicep curl: 3x10
Lat/tricep extension: 3x10
---

Say a little prayer for Baby Audrey

Baby Audrey is a fighter. She is now one-month old and still in the NICU. I am praying for her and her family and hoping that she will be growing up healthy and happy!


#gobabyaudrey
DearJulie


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Workout of the day: Cycling 45 minutes
Squats: 3x10
Deadlift: 3x10
Seated good morning: 3x10
Bend-over lateral: 3x10
Chest press: 3x10
Lateral rasie: 3x10
---

Chinese Birth Calender and naming a baby

Have you heard of this Chinese Birth Calender thing? Well well, it's a calender that predicts the sex of the baby. Chinese people just loooooove doing that and have some unknown ways to predict. The chart looks like this:

Please note that this chart is a calculation that was developed and has been passed on since Qhing Dynasty. It claims to be at least 70% accuracy.

I don't know the science behind it or if there is any scientific proof of it at all, and I COULD NOT FIND IT. Funny thing is, whenever my mom tells me certain things, she never has any theory to back it up anyway, especially those superstitions. So I guess, it's a Chinese way.

According to this chart, I am having a baby girl! Yay! (34 years of age and conceived in the month of April). The world always needs another feminist.

I have also compared to another ovulation calendar which tells which day to conceive to have either boy or girl. According to that calendar, I am also having a baby girl.

So because of the above prediction, I have been searching for names for a baby girl. After just a little search, I realized that the baby's name does not really reflect the personality of a child per se, it reflects only the parents' personality, or maybe, lack of personality.

I have people around me popping babies all the time and it's always interesting to see what kind of names they pick for their babies. Is there a story behind the name picking? Is it in memory of someone or something or someplace? Is it a tribute to a character that inspired them the most? Or is it simply because, the names sound good? I love asking questions like that because I love a good story. This is exactly the kind of name-picking process that you get to see the personality, sophistication, and depth of the parents.

Let me tell you. There are some reallllllllllllllly bad names out there, like, super bad. Those parents want to pick a name that's unusual, less heard, rhyming and so on, but those names just turn out to be bad. Well, but I never tell them that and I wouldn't, and I bet they don't want to know. They'd probably think I am a jerk for telling them the truth anyways, and I don't want to be a bigger jerk than I already am :)

As for me, I don't think I have any even clever ideas in picking names, and if I do, I will never share because there are baby name thieves out there I am telling ya! So don't ever share baby names. I look at those bad names and I tell myself not to do that to my kid. Howevere, here's an idea of mine that I'd like to hear from feedback on, and you tell me whether you think it's a good one or bad. And please be honest with me. I can take the ugly truth.

So, I wanted to name my baby in Chinese, with something easy to pronounce and easy to pinyin, so that (ignorant) white people won't be confused., even though I don't really care but you know, TB does. Or at least teachers in schools would be able to pronounce it correctly. This will, supposedly, make a unique name, like all those ladies who have a life purpose to find their babies names that are so ________ (insert words yourself). It will be unique because chances are you might not be able to find a second kid in the class that has the exact same name. And this, will for sure remind the kid his/her identity - I don't want my kid to come home telling me that s/he is a "Twinkie" - white inside, yellow on the outside. NO! You are going to be frigging Chinese and Chinese only, in and out, through and through. You will grow up speaking Chinese, living in a Chinese household, learning Chinese cultures, eating Chinese food, and you will even swear in Chinese. You are only unfortunate to be born in the US where you also have to speak English, live a American lifestyle, and getting used to the American cultures.

How's that for my Chinese pride?! You think my kid will suffer? Heck yeh.

But seriously, I really want to know what you think, as straight-forward as possible. No need to be nice and whatever. You know I am always straight-forward to you! When leaving a comment, you don't even have to be anonymous. I am not going to find out where you live.


#namingababy
DearJulie


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Rest day on doctor's order
---

The odds

The odds of being pregnant in each ovulatory cycle is 1/4. That is if you do everything right - one healthy egg, fertile sperms, right sexual positions, perfect physical condition, right state of mind, and the list goes on.

The odds of giving birth to a healthy baby........that's a completely different story. There are genetic issues, environmental issue, emotional and physical issues, and of course, the list goes on, that will ultimately determine the outcome of each pregnancy.

The odds in favor of an event or a proposition are the ratio of the probability that an event will happen to the probability that it will not happen.

This basically means that every pregnancy is a gamble which carries all kinds of risks. With all the uncertainties along the way, no one can ever guarantee anything, I bet, not even doctors.

So, giving birth to a healthy baby might not happen???!!!

When we had the appointment with the genetic counselor, our ability to handle truths, to understand realities, and to assess risks encountered the biggest challenge ever. With all the unfamiliar medical terms and potential genetic diseases, we went home with an unbelievable amount of information to digest. I especially felt overwhelmed and apprehensive, even with my training in social science, risk communication, in particular, I was needing time to process all the information, especially numbers, and put them in perspectives.

When looking at numbers, everyone has his/her own perception, and everything can be contextual. For the most part, it is always emotional when certain incident is more directly related to you, your health, and anyone who is close to you. For example, when the doctor tells a mom that her baby has a 1 out of 897 chance to be a Down Syndrome baby, how do you comprehend this information? How about 1 out of 120? How do you read this number? When I look at numbers, statistics, and odds, I look at what exactly makes up for the number and how it's being interpreted. It's also important to compare the number to the right pool of sample and then, look at individual differences of the sample. Then, there is always the emotion. It is always hard to separate it from any decision-making process.

To be honest, I know I am healthy - my physical age is much younger than my actual age. With the healthy diet and exercise, I am not sure any other 34-year-old woman is as fit as I am, well, I mean, I haven't really met too many.

So, when I found out that I might be at high risk of having a Down Syndrome babe, I wasn't super shocked. Based on my age and compare to the sample pool, there indeed should have a high risk to the pregnancy. The chance increases as the age increases, regardless how healthy I thought I am. One chemical in the blood could determine the destiny.

We have long decided what to do if there is anything wrong with the baby. Yes, Down Syndrome to me is "baby went wrong" but this is no offense to anyone who is raising a Down Syndrome baby. All I have is respect for you. I know I could not do it so I will never do it. With an understanding on both me and TB's sides, we also decided on all necessary tests we need to do, including the test that carries a potential risk of a miscarriage.

This sounds bad - risks on top of risks? Yeah, but that's how "chances" and "odds" work, you just never know.

Well, maybe that's why I purposely NOT to feel emotionally attached to this thing growing inside of me, or not yet. I want to wait until everything is 100% certain. Do I sound cold-hearted? I suppose. But I gotta do what's the best for us and there is nothing cold-hearted about it.


#pregnancyisariskybusiness
DearJulie



---
Workout of the day:
Cycling 45 minutes
Lateral bend: 3x10
Bench press: 3x10
Dumbbell curl: 3x10
Incline dumbbell curl: 3x10
---

"Pregnancy Glow" is gross

If you ever say to a pregnant lady that she has a "pregnancy glow" to compliment her on how "shiny" she looks, DON'T! You might think she looks "glowing" because she is full of happiness with the upcoming mommyhood and that the emotion reflects on her face and she can't hide it.

If you didn't know, the so called "Pregnancy Glow" is the cause of oil glands working in over-drive which is the result of extra crazy hormones a body of a pregnancy woman produces. This, will leave her face all shiny. And of course, she can't hide it.

Women are generally sensitive about their appearance, complexion and all. You are essentially telling her that her face is greasy. It's pretty gross.

I used to be the asshole who would say to a pregnant lady: awww you look so good. You have that pregnancy glow! Now I know what that is, I will never say it to anyone and I definitely don't need to hear it from anyone.

So thank you but no thank you. Don't need to let me know I have the "pregnancy glow" to compliment how good I look. I know I look good, even though I am fat. Well, I guess I do have to put some pictures up to PROVE IT! However, I have been hit on so much more nowadays than before I was pregnant, considering the extra load putting on my chest and my rear end.  I also got hit on a lot more before I was married. When that didn't happen much anymore I was worried, and I wasn't sure what went wrong with me?!

Heck yes, I enjoy fully of all the attention I could get, even though it can come randomly from construction workers on the side of the street. Apparently my bulging belly does not bother them.


#hotmama
DearJulie


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Workout of the day:
Indoor Cycling 45 minutes
Seated Good Morning: 3x15
Squat: 3x10
Straight-leg deadlift: 3x10
Tricep dip: 3x10
Lats (two work outs): 3x10 each
---

More sushi please

They always tell you, when pregnant, you can't eat this, this, and that. Not that I don't listen or I purposely want to jeopardize the health of the little blueberry, I believe in everything in moderation and balance. And to be very honest, if you don't find out exactly why certain things are not good for you, they can only be myths. Myths that have been told again and again and again until you hear so much and you get scared. So ladies, do your research.

For example, I love sushi and I never one day thought I would have to live without it. But for the pregnancy, I kind of mentally prepared myself for the miserable 9 months without sushi. At my first doctor's visit, my doctor went through a whole list of things to do and don't just so I don't do anything stupid. One of the things that I got a-OK from her was: sushi grade fish is fine, go to a nicer and more reputable Japanese restaurant so that the fish quality is more reliable.

She is like a God-sent!

The reason behind is it that the fish that can be served as sushi/sashimi in the US must meet FDA standard of sanitation. FDA has a clear guideline of freezing the fish to kill parasites.

Freezing is often used to kill parasites. According to European Union regulations,^[5] freezing fish at −20°C (−4°F) for 24 hours kills parasites. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recommends freezing at −35°C (−31°F) for 15 hours, or at −20°C (−4°F) for 7 days.^[6]  

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sashimi

Restaurants that serve sushi must follow the guidelines. Though, I would always only go to the authentic Japanese sushi places for the indulgement. And, I have been eating sushi 2-3 times a week because it's high in protein and low(er) in carbs. Man, I need to cut down way more carbs than now.

I am definitely avoiding fish in high mercury content and this list has been my go-to source to decide what to fish to eat (sushi or not). And also, when in doubt, I google!

I mean, you do hear that Japanese women east sushi when pregnant, just like European women drink wines and Greek women eat feta cheese when pregnant. You just can't do too much. Moderation is the key.



#moresushiplease
DearJulie


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Workout of the day: Cycling, high intensity, 45 minutes (15 miles)
---

I am pro-choice

I am pro-choice. I believe women have the right to make a decision/choice for their own bodies that is fundamentally beneficial to themselves, and themselves only. My definition of "what a choice is" is broad and an abortion is only one of the choices women might have to make for themselves. You are the lucky ones if you never have to make a choice like that.

Now, I am married and pregnant. My thinking is slightly different. I am still pro-choice. And when it comes to pregnancy and decision-making during pregnancy, I believe women have to right and the obligation to make the best choice for not just themselves, but their closest family.

Today I read this article on Slate.com which came at such a perfect time. As I am observing myself as a pregnant woman, I think even more so than before, about women's right, especially women's right to choose.

At first, this article touched upon a subject that I am telling everyone every day - pregnancy is expensive. Mails in my mailbox have been piles and piles of medical bills - one time I got bills from 5 different labs just on one doctor's visit and one blood test. And I have done countless blood tests and all kinds of tests that doctor asked me to do. Some of them I don't even know if they are necessary.

I strongly encourage people to be financially stable before they start the pregnancy process. Of course, in this article, it looked at single moms and their partners who get them conceived. I do think the partners should support not just emotionally but financially because it does take two! Even though they are not connected through marriage or might not be at all in the future, their bond lies on the fetus that's growing in the women's body. And, the term "preglimony" is kindda brilliant.

The person who started using the term "preglimony" apparently is very careful with not comparing it to a child support because it's debatable whether a fetus can be considered as a child. A child implies that this thing is a life.

It is a life, whether you call it embryo, fetus, and other medical terms to describe this thing. It's a living cell. It grows. Even though I don't feel it at all in week 15 and I am always worried it's not there anymore....

I ask myself: what would I do if I have to? My decion-making process is simple - how would it affect my life and my husband's life, realistically and fiancially. And realistically and financially, we do not want to carry something that we know will have negative imapcts on our lives and lifestyle. The answer is obvious.

Being pregnant and a mom-to-be do not have to change a person's rational thinking. I feel more and more attached to the thing growing inside of me each day, and it only means I have to make a decision that's the best for this thing and myself.

A lot of the rhetoric that both pro-choice and anti-choice camps use are just to justify their arguments or make them legally sound. I understand that and I somewhat agree. But arguing whether it's a life or not does not change the fact it's still inside of a woman's body and the woman has the right to her own body. Thus if an abortion is necessary and the right thing to do, it should be done.

It is a life. However, regardless how much it is a life to you, just, don't photoshop the sonogram to the photo of your belly.


#imforabortion
DearJulie


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Workout of the day: Cycling, 45 minutes high intensity (about 15 miles)
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Pregnant Celebs for inspiration: Part I

As I am looking for ways to stay sane and normal (as a person) during pregnancy, I am also looking for inspirations to help me do so. UES pregnant ladies are pretty hip and trendy. Not just in fashion or clothing, they do hip stuff, holistic approach, pure diet (vegan or organic or vegetarian - they worship Alicia Silverstone and alike), organic baby wear, high-tech baby gears. They don't just have expensive taste, they spend money on expensive things. I don't think I can catch up with that kind of life style, so I will always look for alternatives.

As superficial as I am, I love following celebrities who are pregnant (I swear this only happened recently). Some celebrities are just unreal that they look as perfect as ever despise how pregnancy is a process of deformation. But some also are very real, so real that you couldn't help go "ew". Hey, it's no body's fault. It's just the reality of being pregnant. I look at myself and I go "ew" too.


Reese Witherspoon

She has a sweetheart look. I always like her casual and effortless style that says so much about her personality. She is still cute with a bump. I just can't stop looking at her belly photos and go aw.





That's pretty much how bumpy my belly is now. I guess I still should be able to fit into all my fun summer day dresses.

We are playing tennis when the weather is not as hot and on weekends I don't have to work. She looks so cute in the little tennis skirt. I can't wait to wear mine.

Simple and elegant. I do believe that with a pregnant belly, solid and basic are the way to go.

Megan Fox

If there is anything that's unfair about God when women were being created, was that the way Megan Fox was created. Even I think she is hot, so she is hot. She has such an exotic yet intimidating look but I just couldn't get my eye off her. And she's pregnant. So what happened when she is pregnant?

 Dude, I was seriously considering a pregnant boudoir photoshoot and I saw this. This crashed any of my dream of how hot I think I look. Bleh, it also severely crashed my confidence.

 And still, she is hot even with a huge sweatshirt covering her body.

Why is she so perfect even when pregnant? Now, I need to trim my arms, my waist, my thighs before I even dare to put on something like that. Ok, babymoon is my goal to lose all non-pregnancy related fat.

Kourtney Kardashian

I absolutely hate the Kardashian - the whole family is eff'ed up. And I think it's stupid to change the regular spelling of the names with a K to make Khole and Kourtney. People who have lower literacy level would do that so can't blame them.

However, I have to give it to Kourtney Kardashian for staying classy during pregnancy. How did she do it? I guess when you have money and you need all the good image to build your fame, everything is worth doing. But I also think she is an elegant mom to begin with and that's how she carried her style and poise.

Look at how dolled up she was at her baby shower? Wait! Do you still get a baby shower if it's not the first baby? Oh well. I love that dress and I also have a similar one. I wonder if I could still fit into that since it was in the regular size.

 You can't go wrong by going maxi, especially with the jersey material. She looked very casual and effortless with the bump.

I don't think anyone can rock a pair of Louboutin like her while being pregnant.

Vanessa Lachey

Nick Lachey could be one of the best traders if he wanted to be. I mean, just look at the pregnant Vanessa Lachey and oh-so-pregannt Jessica Simpson, you'd know what I mean. I never really know what Vaness Lachey did or does except for being Nick Lachey's wife. But her pregant belly is very comfortable to look at.

Pregnant women in gym clothes are hot. Heck yeah!

Pregnant in style suddenly does not seem to be hard if you know which shirt to put on to go with jeans.

This is only Part I. I got so much so say about pregnant celebs, good ones and the no-so-good ones. Stay tuned.

#hotmamas

DearJulie

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Workout of the day: Cycling in high intensity. 45 minutes.

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Wearing heels when pregnant can be comfortable

My theory is that when you wear flats, all your body weight sits on your heels at the bottom of your feet. After a long day, standing or walking, you might feel the extreme numbness and soreness on the heels and even the calves, since the muscles are connected from the bottom of the heels, ankles, and lower part of legs.

By wearing heels (in any height, or wedges in any height) you share the body weight on the front of the feet as well as the rest of the feet. The weight is distributed in balance, if not evenly, so that there is not one single point of contact to the ground that has to sustain the whole body weight. Remember, the weight will only increase.

It depends, however, on the person. But for me, I suck it up.

I currently wear different pairs of heels of 2-3 inches, and wedges of 4 inches and up. Of course, when buying, I look at whether the shoes are wide enough to fit my feet comfortably. Cork, espadrille, leather are among the comfortable materials. Synthetic leather and plastic are fine but sometimes they tend to stink up quickly - pregnant ladies are stinky enough, no need anything else coming from the feet.

That said, I saw this pair  and am seriously considering to buy them for the fall season, it made me drooool....

Aren't they lovely?! They are so architecturally designed and I love the structure the shoes create to elongate the legs.

In order to wear this pair well, I need to not only trim and tone my legs but also strengthen my calf muscles by doing more calf raises.

Another argument I have about wearing heels when pregnant is that it maintains my personal-identify. I mean, why do I have to change all my daily routine, diets, even clothing items I wear just for a pregnancy? Ok, I do have to change those to certain degree for a lot of reasons, but I refuse to change it completely.

It's sad to see those ladies who totally let themselves go or stop taking care of themselves when pregnant. Maybe they just couldn't control their bodies; maybe they just don't care; maybe they just give up. Pregnant ladies are not ugly. Pregnant ladies who don't take care of themselves are ugly.

Please pray for me for that I won't let myself go and I won't give up on looking fabulous and gorgeous in my bloated state.

I do still own flats. Heck I do, and they are of course comfortable, IF you buy the right pairs, you know the ones with soft soles and with a bit of cushion. At work, I do have to stand most of the time and flats are definitely the way to go. Oh, and those bling bling thong sandals, oo-la-la! They are yum and give me the best excuse to refresh my predicure with different color each (or every other) week. But heels are different, they make me feel normal and relaxed. Regardless how comfortable I'd say they are, they still kill, yes I admit it. But, who cares.

When I feel ugly, I wear heels.

   

#stayfab
DearJulie

Like a light switch....even the sex drive

It feels just like yesterday when I was writing and recounting all the sicknesses one could possibly had and they all happened to me. That miserable period makes me miserable thinking about it. During the time a wise lady said to me that it's just like a light switch, on and off, all the miseries can be gone just like that. I hell didn't believe it especially I thought I had a near-death experience.

But it did get switched off. One day, all the sicknesses were gone, magically. To be exact, it was the last day of the 11th week. I marked it on my calendar.

Eat

Now, I am pretty much back to normal, except for headaches, which never stops. I have the best appetite ever, which results in 7 more lbs at the last weigh-in. For my non-pregnancy diet, I used to eat several small meals a day just to keep my metabolism up - this is my method of burning more calories and losing weight. It was very hard, to time myself and to remind myself to eat. I didn't like it. It was hard. Now, for the pregnancy diet, I don't even have to remind my body it's been two hours since I last eat, my body pushes me to search for food. Here's what the eating schedule looks like:

- 7:00am-8:00am: Breakfast (must have eggs and veggie shake)
- 10:00am-10:30pm: Snacks (must have fruits)
- 12:00pm-2:00pm: Lunch (anything)
- 4:00pm-5:00pm: Snacks (fruits or green tea latte)
- 6:30pm-8:00pm: Dinner (anything but low carbs)
- 9:00pm-10:00pm: I feel hungry again but I try not to eat.

This feeding schedule looks so much like a baby's feeding schedule and I am only feeding myself. CRAZY! I occasionally have to fit in some nap time so that I can hit the gym. And before I hit the gym, I have to snack on something too. I am hoping the little blueberry will really benefit from it too.

Sleep

I sleep at least 9 hours a day, plus nap time. For some reason, I still feel tired. I fight the urge to sleep by going to the gym or cleaning around the house. I try not to sit in bed (where the TV is). I generally sleep well but I dream a lot. I can't quite puzzle together what the dreams were about but there were definitely people and faces, places, stories and scenes. My brain activities are too strong that this has become a little problem for my sleep quality. It might be the reason why even with 9 hours a day sleep, I still feel restless.

Sex

Not only did I gain my appertite for food back, I also gained back the appertite for sex. TB's non-existing sex life is officially back to life again and I am glad my toy (TB) is always available. I also think know for a fact that he is secretly  happy that I am back to normal. Now with our new bed, we finally got to break it in numerous times. Having sex is like having a good workout. It pumps up whole body blood blow, exercises the muscles neccessary, and produces the endorphine so that we always have a smile on our faces. As a pregnant lady, you want that. You want your muscles to have regular exercise; you want your blood to circulate well, and you want to always be in a good mood. At this stage, nothing has to change. We don't have to compromise on the positions since my belly is really not that big and I feel good just the way I like it before pregnancy. One thing I have not experienced was the "Pregnancy Orgasm" that Jenny McCarthy raved about. To me, it was great and it is still great. I wonder if baby size will make a difference to my orgasm. I hope so. This blueberry is causing me nothing but pain and discomfort now. If anything good can come out of it, a fantastic orgasm would be nice.

Work

I still work. In fact, I am always excited about work. Nothing can make me feel complete except for work. I am one for those people who will define herself by her accomplishment in work. Although I have to work often time on weekend for long hours, I can be myself 100% for that time - focused, disciplined, and motivated. There have been a lot of work related meetings that I postponed. Currently I am resuming all the meetings and progress so that I can catch up. Things on my to-do list have been piling up and I am just excited that I have all my energy back to do all that. This makes me happy.

Workout

As I always say, working out makes me feel better, if not physically, mentally. I am back to my workout routine with weight training and cardio. Although I am still on the previous routine of "pre-contest workout", I might need to change it up. I did adjust the weight and intensity so that it won't put too much pressure on my lower back. Cardio is also a must for getting the heart rate up. I have tried pushing my limit a lot to reach my max heart rate of 170-180. Pacing is definitely important. However, for me to feel as good as before, I have to the same, if not more, workout as before. The weather has been toooooo hot, or I'd be out running or playing tennis. Actually, we are going to find a weekend to go either running or playing tennis first thing in the morning before the heat.

So as you can see, my life is really back to normal. It makes me feel relieved even though I am still trying to catch up on the changes of my body every day. I think I started to show a little bit, even though, sometimes it looks like just a layer of fat on my belly. TB said I started walking like a pregnant lady. Oh how ugly is that.

But then again, he always has his ass-hole like sense of humor.

TB: (looking and touching my upper arms softly and gently)
TB: Are your arms pregnant too?


#normalisgood
DearJulie

Photoshopping sonograms

Oh  man! Did you read this Slate article? Those ladies are photoshopping the fetu's sonograms onto their belly glamour shots!!!!

I understand if you want to keep the good memories for life and document the special moments while you are pregnant. Sure, go hire a photographer, dress pretty with your partner and look (or pretent) you are very happy and in love and so look forward to the new baby.

But are you frigging kidding me? People actually do this? Please don't let it be a trend. It's retarded. And whoever invented this idea was crazy, out of the world insane and should be put away for psychiological evaulation. This is a horrible, horrilble idea and to be very honest, it is gross, even though creating a life is a magical thing to do. But, just don't put that photo on your stomach.

What were they thinking? And photographers are shamelessly seriously make money of it? With their outstanding photoshopping expertise? This is just ridiculous. They even argued that it's still debatable whether it's art. Bleh, it's garbage. It's one of those white trash things to do.

No offense if you are thinking of doing it. If you really do, I don't judge. I will just laugh and look at you and your sonogram as a joke.

So, don't do it.


#tackybellyphotos
DearJulie