Wednesday, February 20, 2013
No time to blog
It has been 6 weeks that I became a mother to a little monster - he is perfect in every way. It also has been the longest 6 weeks in my life that it really felt like forever. Is that a good thing or bad the fact that life feels long and endless?
Speaking of life, I have no life (to myself). Everything I do I have to plan around blueberry. I sometimes couldn't poop because I don't have the time to sit on the toilet because whenever I have time, I sleep. Thus no time for blogging. Maybe it's because I am so new to this mommyhood thing that I need to work on my "mommy time management". Seriously, there are a lot of things that I used to do on a daily basis, my usually daily routine, I can't do them anymore. I can't clean the apt, I can't take the trash out, I can't do dishes, I can't even fix myself something to eat while hungry. Well, and whenever I do eat, I feel like I need to swallow everything in the shortest amount of time possible. Food does not taste the same anymore. Eating feels like a chore so that I can produce enough milk to feed blueberry.
All your mommies there would probably think: dude, why are you whining? It's all very normal and you will get used to it.
The problem is, I love myself too much to "get used to it". Sometimes I do feel very resentful that I wish I could make a return but there is no return policy and no one ever returns a baby, right? But I know there should not be hate. I am still full of love for blueberry.
This time I need to suck it up and make changes. What I can do now is to get my life in a new order, new routine. My life is on a 2 hrs segment and that's how I should be planning for.
What a positive thinking!! Very not DearJulie like....it's ok, I will try to get used to it.
On the brighter side (well, there are all bright sides), I started running and resuming my (new) gym routine. Training won't be as easy as before because of the time constrain but I will make it work. TB and I kindda figured out how we can rotate going to the gym and watching blueberry. I definitely feel so much more energy and I feel great about myself. Now, I just have to find time to get mani-pedi, massage and all my grooming sessions.
Still sleep deprived, I am hanging in there.
DearJulie
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