A live or death problem

My blueberry is a breast-fed kid. He gets everything from me and me only. Lucky for him, his mom is quite an adventurist that she would eat anything and everything. Also, knowing that he eats whatever I eat, I particularly love experiment on things to eat just to see how he likes it or dislikes it.

It turned out, he can't do coffee - he will not be able to sleep at night. He also can't really do dairy products and it shows in his poops. However I still eat dairy but control the intake amount. Not that I want him to be sick, I don't want to become lactose-intolerant myself. He does enjoy wine with cold cuts a lot, Oh hell no, I don't pump and dump. This kid also really loves TB's cooking.

His weight gain is normal thus far for a breast-fed kid.

Ironically, my biggest frustration of raising this little monster has also been breastfeeding.

Earlier on, I got mastitis that was so painful that I almost wanted to chop my boob off. It was so painful that I couldn't feed him myself for almost a week. I was so worried about him not getting enough but I couldn't do anything. Finally after 10 days being on anti-biotic, I got better. We went back to regular feeding.

A couple weeks ago, I developed yeast infection that my nipple got super itchy and red and I was also in pain. I could feed him but I was very uncomfortable. He felt my frustration and I didn't think he was nursed well. I had to put some ointment to get rid of the infection and take him to the peds to make sure he didn't have thrush. This ordeal took a while and I accidentally let him suck on the boob that had the ointment on. Gross. He didn't like it at all.

And guest what! This week, I got some kick-ass milk production that the flow was non-stop and I couldn't stop it. It just keeps coming and coming....how I wish I got this much milk in the beginning when he couldn't get any and while I suffered from the clogged duct.

But, this has become a night mare. Too much let-down too fast is an issue? Oh hell yeh. You know how much? The milk was shooting out and it got all over his face. I am not even kidding. Nipples shooting out milk and got all over the boy's face? Oh ew, that sounds like porn. But it's nothing funny at all. Think about how you are put upside down chugging the keg from a tube? That's how he feels right now. He chokes himself all the time. As a result, he refuses the boobies. At first he would try clamping it down to stop the flow. When that's not successful, he would just turn his head away and totally not eat anymore.

I googled it and also asked the lactation consultant. Apparently, this is something both him and I have to adjust to and there is not really any trick to overcome it. I just have to change positions often, burp him often, and take a break often so that he does not choke.

He's never refused boobs like this and his feed time has gone down so much because he rather starve himself, he wouldn't want to choke. I don't blame him. Who would want an unpleasant feeding? And now I worry yet again if he is getting enough.

To make things worse, he does not take the bottle from me at all. Whenever I tried bottle feed him it's like a battle and I always lost. He is even more stubborn than his old man.

What to do? What to do?

I am getting help from my OB, lactation consultant, as well as another experienced mom. Dude, this might really take a couple weeks to solve the problem. God damit, I just want him to eat and enjoy eating.

Just thinking of whether my son is getting enough from me drives me crazy. I have to admit, I have never worried so much about anything. It feels like a life is depending on me and a life is totally depending on me.

Tell me it's not a live or death problem. I'd say yes.


DearJulie