Advice

With all the baby and pregnancy advice I got, an interesting one is when people told me: remember, not to ignore your husband and make sure he knows he is playing an important role as a father.

This is interesting because I never in a million years would even worry about that, and the fact that people have to "warn" me about the potentially likelihood that it might happen, is kindda, um, funny!

So apparently some ladies did ignore their significant others after the baby came. But why? And, how?

Maybe because their marriage or relationship had been having issues and baby is the last straw that just pushed things to the extreme. This morning I actually saw someone asking for a therapist recommendation for couples who have kids under the age of 5 on my mommy's group listserv. Really? Seriously? Things could get that bad? But I am Chinese, I don't believe in therapy. So if that ever happened, I'd deal with it.

My baby daddy is awesome and he is everywhere. He wants to be involved in the process more than I thought he would, by nagging at me about taking the vitamins, be careful with food I eat, and be cautious when walking on the streets with a big belly; he did almost all the heavy lifting, literally, and I pretty much just sit back and enjoy the ride, after I constantly had to remind him to put together all the furniture and buy the car seat and blah blah; and even though he is not willing to "catch" the baby at the delivery and he is too terrified to cut the umbilical cord, he is still very much involved. The thing is, our apartment is too small for me to even ignore him :) In fact, he probably knows more about pregnancy than I do. He was also the one taking notes at the childbirth class.

I honestly did not know what I would do without him, let alone ignoring him. I see how it could be a concern in other cases, with baby needing all the attention and the wife/mom being potentially exhausted and sleep deprived.

But he is my rock, my shoulders to cry on, my boy toy, and my sugar daddy. I definitely show enough of love that he knows how important he is to me and to baby (Right? Baby?). We even have a plan for him to feed the baby earlier on so that 1) I can rest, and 2) he can bond with the baby. I mean, he just can't be ignored because he is too important to me, and us.

I do understand how he also needs some TLC once a while. My snoring at night, my waking up to pee, my not feeling well and wanting to throw up signs....all the nasty things above make him worry and in most cases, caused him good night sleeps. I can see how he is preparing himself for the D-day and that's a tremendous stress on a person, even though I am the one who's delivering...

He always says he is fine. But you know how men are, they never say what they actually feel. I do think that the attention I pay to him is enough he can handle and he would like to handle, not too little and not too much. We shall see. With my mom coming for a month or so, it's a huge test on his patience and his tolerance. He was concerned with how I am supposed to preform my wifely duty while my mom is here. And that, can be stressful.

The dynamics will change. I do think it's not a bad thing. A baby is going to make the family stronger.

Baby, it's not you and me against the world anymore. It's you, me, and the baby against the world! We love you daddy!



DearJulie

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Need another massage
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